In today’s society there is a lot expected of women. We are supposed to be attractive, financially suave, business oriented, a gourmet chief, a nurturing mother, housekeeper, nurse, vixen in the bedroom, Bible scholar, and still make it to the gym 5 days a week to stay physically fit. It can get pretty difficult to juggle all these hats.
Some women accomplish this with seemingly no struggles while the other 98% of us just want to figure out how to maybe sort of accomplish 3 of these tasks a day. With all these expectations a woman can start to be pretty hard on herself and question her capabilities.
The Super Woman syndrome is what I like to call it when a woman feels as if she has to conquer the world in one day and without any assistance. Often times we take on the responsibility of fixing everything for everybody but pay very little attention to our own self-care. There is no way to get rid of all the things a woman has to do in life. However, there are ways to help ease some of the stress and anxiety of attempting to be 100% perfect in every area.
(1) Team work: Understand that it is okay for members of your household (children and husband) to assist with keeping your home organized. I have recently taught my 6 year old to fold laundry and my 3 year old vacuums and clears the table after eating. My husband helps with cooking meals and folding laundry. He also gets the children ready for school in the morning while I am headed out the door to work.
We no longer live in the day where a woman has to do all the work while her husband reads the paper in his lazy boy and the children make messes that mom hurries to clean up. An added bonus to everyone lending a helping hand around the house is that it allows you to have more energy for mommy/daddy pleasure later on and family activities as well. It also highlights the fact that two is better than one. We can get a lot more accomplished when we all pull together which frees up time for family fun.
(2) Enlist help: I have learned that the wise woman asks for help. Whatever the issue may be you can usually find a friend with suggestions or an article about improvement that can assist you with information. A woman should improve her financial wisdom, spend quality time with the kids and have a hobby of her own.
Look for people that are successfully doing these things and find out how they balance it all. If it is in your budget you can hire help for certain areas such as: occasional help with organizing your home, child care, cleaning and meal preparation to free up some of your time in order to focus on specific areas and career goals.
(3) Have fun with your family: If your day to day life is getting in the way of your family intimacy and fun time, let the not so important issues take a back seat to the very important issues. We often place too much value on everything being in order in the house but forget to create a home and keep that in order.
Folding the laundry one day later is acceptable when your husband needs your attention and your kids just want to cuddle or read a book with mommy. There are helpful websites such as www.theconfidentmom.com that can assist with prioritizing chores and meal planning. It is important to prioritize what you invest your time in. Everything is relevant however some things are simply more important in the long run. Make sure you are creating a home for your family and not just a perfect house.
- Make time for yourself: I cannot stress the importance of self- care enough. It is impossible to pour into others when you do not take time to refill yourself. If you have nothing left to give than you are operating in the red when it comes to caring for others. Set aside time for prayer and meditation, read a good book, exercise, and connect with a good friend. Whatever rejuvenates and replenishes you, make time to make it happen. Taking care of yourself will make you a better wife and mother and your family will thank you for it.
- Practice balanced living: Focus on creating health and prosperity in every area of your life. This may sound like a tall order but balance is key. There are five areas that usually require some fine tuning when life is hectic. Your spiritual, social, psychological, physical and financial health all come in to play when things are out of balance. Each of these areas require attention and care in order for you to thrive and be the best mom and wife for yourself and your family. Taking time to address these areas is essential in creating balance. If you pay attention to only one or two of these areas the others will be out whack. Make a list of how you can address each of the five areas daily.
- Be realistic: Many of us are our own worst critic. Remind yourself that you are only one person and that you are human. Although I truly believe that wives and mothers really do have superpowers, we tend to also be the supplier of our own kryptonite. Rome was not built in a day. Go easy on yourself and positively affirm yourself daily. Look in the mirror every morning and say, “I am capable, able and strong. I have the ability to take control of my day without letting the day get the best of me.” You are equipped to build your family up with encouragement and you have to do the same for yourself. Be forgiving when you fall short of your own expectations and be realistic about what those expectations should be.
There are a lot of demands placed on women today. We wear a number of hats and are expected to add a cape to our wardrobe as well. Taking time to give special attention to the needs of our family as well as our selves is imperative. Keep these six key steps to being a better wife and mother in mind as you set goals for your household.
