Discernment counseling is a type of therapy that can help couples who are struggling to decide if they should get divorced or stay together.
This type of counseling can be helpful for couples who are not sure if they are still in love with each other, or if they are just staying together out of habit.
If you are considering divorce, or are not sure if your marriage is worth saving, discernment counseling may be a good option for you.
What is Discernment Counseling?
This assumption that the marriage should stay together is not always the best approach. Sometimes, couples aren’t sure whether they should stay together or end things.
Sometimes, one person wants to stay in the relationship and another person wants to end it. When goals aren’t the same, the chance of finding success in couples counseling is dubious at best.
That is where discernment counseling comes in. If you’re not sure whether to stay in your relationship but your wife or husband wants counseling, this is a good way for you to explore your options.
Discernment counseling is couple’s counseling, but it’s counseling without the presumption or agenda that you’re going to necessarily stay married. Instead, it’s a way for you to discuss your relationship and whether you want to preserve things or head towards ending your marriage.
How Does It Work?
This different way to tackle marriage problems doesn’t assume that problems are able to be solved. Instead, you explore what the problems are and whether you can solve them.
There are lots of conversations that happen separately with each partner. This helps you and your counselor assess your needs and your marriage goals, in order to see if they are compatible.
Discernment counseling also works without commitment. It’s meant to be short term. It tries to show you whether you can or want to save your marriage. If you decide to save it, you can proceed to traditional therapy.
Is it right for you?
There are a number of questions that you can ask yourself when you’re trying to decide if discernment counseling is right for you. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about your marriage and wondering if you should even try, it might be the right choice for you.
If you’re thinking these things, there are things in your marriage that are bothering you, but you find yourself torn as to whether you like any of the available solutions, or if you want to put in the effort.
Another time to try this type of counseling is when you feel like you’re at your wits end. If you feel like you’ve already tried all that there is to try in your relationship, it’s time to try this type of counseling.
You might be right, and it might be completely true that you’ve tried everything and that you don’t need to continue in your marriage in frustration. On the other hand, there might be solutions that you haven’t thought of yet, and discernment counseling can help you figure out the difference, and if there’s anything else you can do or should do before you head towards divorce court.
Do you find yourself thinking that your partner won’t ever change in ways that continue to hurt you? This is yet another reason to consider this type of counseling. You also might find that you no longer feel the love for your partner that you remember feeling when you first got together. When you work with your counselor, you can explore your reasons for feeling this way with a sympathetic ear. You can discuss things that you can work on to get this feeling back.
It’s a Compromise
If your wife wants marriage counseling, discernment counseling is a good place to go if you can’t agree. It’s also a place to go if you have your reasons for thinking that marriage counseling isn’t going to work. On the other hand, if you want to keep trying and your spouse doesn’t, it’s a good thing to ask for because you can address your partner’s skepticism with this type of counseling.
Usually one spouse wants to stay in the marriage. This person is the spouse who is said to be leaning in. The other spouse is usually leaning out. That means they’ve more or less decided the marriage is over. Don’t expect your discernment counselor to take sides. The counselor respects both sides and helps you work from there.
What Happens in Discernment Counseling?
When you opt for this kind of counseling, expect to spend some time thinking about what went wrong in your marriage. You’ll talk about your problems from your perspective and also from your spouse’s perspective. Eventually, you’ll come to a decision about ending your marriage or making one last try. Another conclusion of discernment counseling is to decide later whether to end your marriage.
How Long Does It Last?
This type of counseling is short term. It can be something you accomplish in just one session or you can take as many as five sessions or longer. Each time you can decide whether to come back for the next visit. This type of therapy defines success as helping couples find confidence in their decisions.
When couples know for sure whether or not they want to end their marriage, they can call discernment counseling successful. Also, breaking down the marriage can help you make choices in future relationships.
When Shouldn’t You Get Discernment Counseling?
There are some situations where this type of counseling isn’t suitable. It’s not an option when there is domestic violence or threats of domestic violence in the relationship. In that case, you need to seek professional assistance on your own, immediately.
It is not advised to try to negotiate with a spouse when an imbalance of power exists, such as exists in a domestic abuse situation. Similarly, when there are threats or coercion towards a partner in order to get them to stay in a relationship or even attend the counseling, this type of counseling is not recommended.
If one spouse has a Personal Protection Order or a Restraining Order from a court, this type of counseling can’t work. Couples cannot be in the same place at the same time, and there is a reason that the order of protection exists, so there is a danger that the parties must avoid. These types of orders should be taken seriously by all of the parties involved.
In addition, if one of the spouses has already decided there is no working on the marriage, it’s not worth your time to try. When that decision is 100 percent final, counseling isn’t going to help. In that event, it’s best to head to divorce court to get started with the rest of your life.
FAQ about Discernment Counseling: What You Need to Know
If you are considering discernment counseling, you likely have a lot of questions. What is it? What will it involve? How will it help me? In this section, we will answer some of the most common questions people have about discernment counseling.
We hope this information will help you decide if this type of counseling is right for you.
What is discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling is a type of therapy that helps people explore their religious and spiritual beliefs. It can be used to help people make important life decisions, such as whether or not to enter into a particular vocation.
What will I do in discernment counseling?
During discernment counseling, you will talk with your counselor about your religious and spiritual beliefs. You will also discuss the different options available to you and how each of those options might fit with your beliefs.
How will discernment counseling help me?
Discernment counseling can help you explore your religious and spiritual beliefs in depth. It can also help you weigh the pros and cons of different life choices and make a decision that is right for you.
What are the benefits of discernment counseling?
The benefits of discernment counseling include:
– Increased clarity about your religious and spiritual beliefs
– Greater understanding of the different options available to you
– Improved ability to make decisions that are right for you
– Enhanced peace of mind and satisfaction with your chosen path.
How is discernment counseling different from other types of therapy?
Discernment counseling is unique in that it focuses exclusively on religious and spiritual issues. It also helps people explore their beliefs in depth, which can be helpful when making important life decisions.
Is discernment counseling right for me?
Only you can answer that question. If you are struggling to make an important life decision, discernment counseling may be helpful.
It can provide you with the clarity and understanding you need to make a decision that is right for you.
how does discernment counseling work?
Discernment counseling is typically conducted over a series of sessions. During each session, you will talk with your counselor about your religious and spiritual beliefs, as well as the different options available to you.
Your counselor will help you explore your beliefs and make a decision that is right for you.
does discernment counseling save marriages?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Discernment counseling may be helpful for some couples, while others may not find it useful.
It is important to discuss your options with a counselor before making a decision.
can discernment counseling help me if I am struggling with my faith?
Yes, discernment counseling can be helpful for people who are struggling with their faith. It can provide you with the clarity and understanding you need to explore your religious beliefs in depth.
How can I find discernment counseling near me?
If you are looking for a discernment counselor, you can use the American Counseling Association’s (ACA) search tool to find a counselor near you.
What is the difference between discernment counseling and regular counseling?
Discernment counseling is typically shorter in duration than traditional therapy, and its focus is on helping people make decisions about their next steps.
Traditional counseling is longer-term, and can be helpful for people who are struggling with more serious issues.
What should I expect in a discernment counseling session?
In a discernment counseling session, you will typically talk about your goals for the therapy sessions, and your counselor will ask questions about what has been going on in your life.
You may also discuss your thoughts and feelings about your relationship, and what you hope to achieve through counseling.
What types of issues can be addressed in discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling can address a variety of issues, including but not limited to: -relationship satisfaction
– parenting disagreements
-stress and anxiety
Is discernment counseling appropriate for everyone?
No, discernment counseling is not appropriate for everyone. If you are experiencing violence or abuse in your relationship, you should seek help from a domestic violence hotline or other resources.
If you are struggling with mental health issues, you should consult with a mental health professional to see if discernment counseling is right for you.
How much does discernment counseling cost?
The cost of discernment counseling varies depending on the counselor’s practice. Some counselors may offer a sliding scale based on your income, while others may charge by the hour.
You should contact a counselor in your area to get more information about their rates.
What if I’m not sure if discernment counseling is right for me?
If you’re not sure if discernment counseling is right for you, or if you have any other questions, contact the American Counseling Association.
The ACA can help connect you with a counselor in your area who can answer your questions and help you make a decision about whether discernment counseling is right for you.
How long does discernment counseling usually last?
Discernment counseling typically lasts for a few sessions, although the number of sessions will vary depending on the needs of the couple.
In some cases, couples may only need one or two sessions, while in other cases, discernment counseling may last for several months.
Can I use my insurance to pay for discernment counseling?
It depends on your insurance policy. Some policies cover discernment counseling, while others do not.
You should check with your insurance company to find out if they cover this type of therapy.
If you are not covered by insurance, you may be able to pay for discernment counseling out of pocket.
Are any black therapists that do discernment counseling?
There are a number of black therapists who offer discernment counseling. You can use our directory search tool to find a black therapist near you.
Can you get Discernment counseling online?
There are a number of therapists who offer online counseling, and some of them may offer discernment counseling.
You can use our directory search tool to find an online therapist who offers this type of therapy.
What should I do if my partner doesn’t want to go to Discernment Counseling?
If your partner does not want to go to discernment counseling, you may want to consider going to therapy on your own.
You can use our directory search tool to find a therapist near you who can help you with relationship issues.
Can I use telehealth or video counseling for discernment counseling?
Some counselors who offer online counseling also offer telehealth or video counseling.
Do BetterHelp counselors do discernment counseling?
Some of the counselors on BetterHelp may offer discernment counseling. You can use the filters on the site to find counselors who specialize in this area.
What is the success rate for discernment counseling?
There is no one answer to this question as it depends on many factors.
Is Telehealth or Video Counseling appropriate for discernment counseling?
Some people find it helpful to have the option of talking with a counselor online or via video. If this is something you are interested in, be sure to ask your potential counselors if they offer this service.
Telehealth or video counseling may be a good option for some people, but it is not right for everyone. You will need to decide if this type of counseling is right for you and your situation.