One thing needs to be cleared before we even start. There are many people that have an avoidant style, but nobody can be love avoidant.
Avoidant individuals can avoid intimacy, relationships, or any kind of commitment but they can’t avoid love.
Love is a feeling that is uncontrollable and it cannot go away when someone falls in love with someone else, no matter how hard they try to reject the feeling.
The article analyzes techniques for making an individual who suffers from Avoidant personality miss you when you want them too; most often as a means of coping with their ambivalence about being loved and living loved. It’s also an article about how to make that person chase you or fall back in love with you.
It can be hard to make an avoidant person miss you. It may not seem like they want attention from you, but deep down they do. Here are 10 ways to make an avoidant person miss you.
Don’t Pressure Him
If he’s told you that he needs some distance from the relationship to think things over, respect and accept his decision. Don’t text him as much and don’t call him as much. Don’t ask if he’s thought about how to make the relationship work, and don’t pressure him for sex if that is what you’re trying to accomplish. If you try to put pressure on him by pursuing him in any way, then he will just start avoiding you more.
A man who will become less interested in you as your relationship becomes more serious. Don’t fret, though! You can change his behaviour by talking things through while avoiding words that are critical and demeaning.
Compromise
Compromise in a way that makes the other person feel respected by agreeing on what is most important for you – so long as it doesn’t compromise your values. Avoidants are very uncomfortable with confrontation and arguments, especially with people they love.
Show Them You A Need Them
At the end of the day, avoidant individuals are also co-dependent and a relationship is their most important thing in life. They need to feel wanted by someone else or they can get very depressed sometimes. So when you’re trying to make an avoidant person miss you, show them that you still care about them and want them in your life even if there’s an argument going on between you two or a fight is taking place. Tell yourself that being a good partner means that you should never give up or walk out on somebody who loves you! It takes more strength not to give up on love, than to give up.
Action Speaks Louder Than Words
Actions speak louder than words. Avoidants don’t respond well to sort of obvious signs of emotional attention like hugs or kisses or holding hands; they need something deeper and more meaningful. They’re not going to care that you said ‘I miss you’ unless you show them how much you mean those words by doing something for them even if it makes you uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone.
Give Them Space
Give the other person some space so they can breathe without feeling trapped with their emotions about things, but at the same time keep in touch with them through texting or phone calls; just enough so that they are reassured that you still want to be there for them. If you make them feel like your gone, they’re more likely to think about breaking up with you and getting out of the relationship.
Don’t Put Them Down
Avoidant individuals are very sensitive. They can be easily hurt by harsh words or actions that are on purpose. They also fear being abandoned, so when they see signs that their partner might be getting ready to leave them, they start feeling depressed because they don’t want anybody else in their life but the person who loves them. So how do you show someone like this that you care? You never talk bad about them or put down their feelings and thoughts; even if it means hurting yourself in a way! It takes a lot more love not to say something mean than it does to say something mean.
Let Them Know How Much you Mean to Them
They need to feel wanted by someone else or they can get very depressed sometimes. So when you’re trying to make an avoidant person miss you , show them that you still care about them and want them in your life even if there’s an argument going on between you two or a fight is taking place. Letting them know how much they mean to you will help them overcome their anxiety about being loved.
Let your body show what you feel.
Body language can be used to tell an avoidant person that you miss them. Unfortunately, they are not very confident and have low self-esteem. They might even act timid or needy when they come around.
They don’t hug or touch in the ways that you may prefer; do whatever it takes to make your partner think that he is still wanted.
Keep your body relaxed and avoid over-animated gestures. When initiating conversation, position yourself close but maintain an air of calmness.
love bomb Them
Avoidants will associate getting close with something bad happening to them or their loved one.
This is where love bombing comes in handy – showering the other person with positive attention (like complimenting how smart they are, how cute they look all the time, telling them how much you love being around them). But avoidant individuals need more than just words; they want actions.
If you can show an avoidant person that making a commitment to be with them forever doesn’t mean giving up your life but actually gives you both a deeper connection because of the presence of another soul who loves you beyond all limits, then you can make them miss you.
Be Patience, Accept Them For Who They Are
To win someone’s love and have a great relationship with an avoidant individual requires great patience and understanding.
You need to realize that just because they’re paranoid about being abandoned doesn’t mean that they want your love more than you want their love; but it also means that if you prove to them over and over again how much they mean to you, this paranoia will eventually fade away into the background of their life until one day, it is completely gone! It takes more strength not to give up on love, than to give up.
Frequently Asked Questions About Avoidant Style Personalities
Do Avoidants miss you?
It depends. Some avoidants have healthy social relationships, but they don’t “miss” anyone because of their fear of intimacy. They may love someone and mate with them, but when their partner goes away or dies they move on pretty quickly to the next person without feeling much pain or grief from the loss.
Does no contact work on an avoidant?
It can work for a short period of time. You need to have no contact with an avoidant for at least two weeks and preferably six, in order for it to really be effective. It is important that you don’t respond to any of their attempts at contacting you while you are doing no contact.
What should I do if my boyfriend is avoidant?
It depends. If he is a true overcoming style, than you need to give him distance so he can work on changing. He needs to do his inner work in order for you be healthy together. If he isn’t willing to work on himself with the help of a good therapist then it may not work out.
Do Avoidants want to be chased?
No. Avoidants avoid intimacy and don’t want to be chased because they feel it is more of a trap than something pleasant. If you chase them, they will most likely run away from you even faster!
Can an avoidant fall in love?
Yes. All personality types can fall in love if they meet the right person. However, they can only truly love someone if they are secure in themselves and have worked through any abandonment issues.
Will an avoidant ever change?
Yes, but it takes serious dedication to one’s own inner work. An avoidant person won’t be able to do this without the support of someone who cares about them. Without that, they will live a life of bitterness and resentment. Having an inspirational person in your life who believes in you is very important when you have a avoidant personality .
Does my avoidant ex want me?
No. Your ex-avoidant doesn’t miss you because he was never connected to you to begin with. He may want the sex, and he may even crave your body, but there is no emotional attachment behind these feelings.
How do you make an avoidant feel loved?
Avoidants can be very hard to love. We all know an avoidant, and we have to admit they are aliens from another planet! But how do you get them to behave like a normal person?
It is a little tough but worth it. Whenever possible compliment the things you want him/her to do and ignore the things that you don’t like. Not to over praise but not too negative either! When they do something positive you want to encourage them by saying how cute or nice it is.
What happens when you ignore an avoidant?
You will be frustrated and feel rejected. They don’t want to deal with you or talk about important things with you because it makes them uncomfortable. Take a break if you have too much control over the relationship, give him/her space and time. When he/she is ready (and not to make you wait forever), they will call or see you. Remember that avoidants are afraid of loving people, so it’s not very easy for them to admit their feelings for you.
What if an avoidant misses me?
When they miss you, they are more concerned about how it affected you than how it made them feel. They want to know what went wrong in the relationship so that it can be solved quickly and they don’t have to see you unhappy.
Why do avoidants miss people?
They feel guilty about it, they know that what they did wasn’t fair. So the only thing left to do is go back and say ‘sorry’! They also miss you because they need a shoulder to cry on or someone who shares their feelings. They don’t like being alone so they need someone to lean on and confide in.
How do avoidants show their feelings?
It is not easy for them to tell you how much they miss you, but there are definite signs that they miss you: let’s say your birthday is coming up; if the person hasn’t called you by then, they might be avoiding you. Another way is to look at his/her body language; does he have a vacant expression in his eyes or does she keep fidgeting?
Another way of telling your avoidant misses you is when they call you as soon as they get home from work because this means that the first thing on their mind was to call you.
How do I know when an avoidant is feeling vulnerable?
This happens when there are any changes in their work or family situation that might affect them, even if it’s a very small change they will feel uneasy and will want to seek support from someone they can trust. You should pay attention to the things that make them feel uncomfortable and avoid doing or saying those things.
This might scare you away from the relationship but if you are patient enough, it’s very rewarding knowing that you are the one who can help them.
How do Avoidants handle breakups?
They don’t really handle breakups very well, they try to avoid feeling hurt but sometimes that makes it worse. They might feel worthless if you didnt love them anymore and will believe that there is something wrong with them so they won’t be able to find anyone else.
If you tell them a reason for the breakup, they will not hold a grudge against you. Remember that they need to know how to handle it for the next time, because avoidants don’t believe in second chances!
How do you tell if an avoidant loves you?
It’s not that easy but you can look for the following:
-They will tell you how proud they are when you have accomplished your goals, or accomplish a goal.
-He/she will ask about your feelings and will listen attentively.
-Try to observe their body language; avoidants don’t show affection by hugging etc. if they do that they are displaying their true feelings.
-They will want to spend as much time with you, even if it’s just watching TV together.
Other than body language and phone calls, avoidants usually don’t tell people that they love them. They show it by the way how they act around you. It might take them years to realize how much they love you, so if they show that kind of affection don’t worry.
What do avoidants want from relationships?
They don’t know what they want from a relationship, all they usually get is pain and disappointment or more often both. They just go into relationships hoping for the best and in the end it just let them down. The best thing about having an avoidant in your life is that they are always there for you and will love you more than any other person can, even if you don’t realize it.
What triggers avoidant attachment?
When you have an avoidant in your life and you are the only good thing about it, because they don’t believe that any relationship can work. If there is a problem at home or work, avoidants will try to solve it on their own instead of involving anyone else. When they need support or help from someone else, they feel like they’re being trapped, so it’s hard for avoidants to ask for help.
What are Avoidants afraid of?
They are afraid of getting hurt. They believe that commitment is not for them and if you show how much they mean to you, they will start feeling uncomfortable. Avoidants have an issue with trust and intimacy so when you show either one of this things to them, it makes them feel vulnerable and scared which results in pushing relationships away.
How does an avoidant feel?
They feel trapped and helpless when they fall in love with someone. They also feel like their life is not going to change because of the relationship or that it’s going to be better without the relationship.
Do Avoidants ever regret?
They regret not trying to make the relationship work, they usually think about what could have happened if they tried doing something differently.
How can you change an Avoidants attachment style?
By being honest with yourself and with them. Not by lying or making a promise you won’t be able to keep, because that just makes it worse!
You have to give them time so they can get used to the idea of having you in their life. Avoidants will start by opening up for a short period of time and then closing again, so just be patient with them.
Will an avoidant ever commit?
Yes, but they won’t tell that you are the one. That is until you convince them to do it and make your relationship official.
What are some avoidant behavior signs?
-They will push you away.
-They will ignore you.
-They won’t call or text as often as before.
-Avoidants will do anything to avoid any kind of confrontation, including lying.
How do avoidants flirt?
The last thing that an avoidant would ever want is to hurt or make someone else uncomfortable. Avoidants wouldn’t flirt with someone unless they have strong feelings for them and they are ready to show these feelings by doing things like holding hands, giving kisses or any kind of physical contact. If an avoidant starts acting differently around you then do not take it as a flirting, because that is not what it is.
Will my avoidant ex come back?
Most likely yes, if they are chasing you. If your ex-avoidant doesn’t start coming back to you after a certain amount of time then give up on the relationship and move on.
What can I do to make my avoidant love me?
Just be yourself and they will fall in love with you eventually!
how do I know if someone is an avoidance?
The above statements pretty much defines it all, but basically any person who is aloof and distant from you could be an avoidance.
Do fearful Avoidants cheat?
Well, the truth is they do.
They have a fear of being hurt so when they think that you won’t want to be with them in the future (as a result of s/he has no control over your decision), then they are likely to look for an alternative – someone who will appreciate them more than you.
What do avoidant adults generally want?
It’s rather simple – they want to meet someone who mirrors what they think of themselves.
Avoidants are generally shy, self-doubting people and so, naturally, they will gravitate towards others who are socially awkward as well (the fear of rejection runs that deep).
It doesn’t even matter if the other person is confident or not – as long as they can mirror the person’s insecurities and does not display their own self-confidence to them.
In other words, an avoidant adult wants someone who is also likely to reject them because if they don’t reject them, then he/she will feel too uncomfortable.