A moody partner is a natural part of life and can be present in all relationships—even the best ones.
There are many ways you can deal with your partner’s mood swings and understand what they’re going through.
For example, if they seem to be angry or irritable most of the time, try to figure out what may have happened that day that is different from other days. It could be something as simple as diet or allergies.
To get started on how to manage your relationship with a moody partner. Figure out how their behavior changed over various periods of time (What did it look like before? What does it look like now?)
Why is your partner moody?
There are many reasons why someone has mood swings. It could be that they’re just going through a hard time (e.g., some sort of work stress or health scare), in which case their mood will probably change following the resolution of the problem.
One of the most concerning signs that your partner is dealing with depression or another mental health issue, is if they are irritable for no apparent reason.
However, some other easy ways to tell are if they have any change in eating habits and/or allergies, unexplained fear or sadness often, and excessive use of alcohol or drugs.
Some of the most common symptoms that someone has depression are:
(1) Feeling tired and unmotivated to do things they usually enjoy.
(2) Spending less time with the people they know and love
(3) Various behaviors associated with mood swings include giving up exercise, avoiding housework, absenteeism at work, and less interest in children.
(4) One cause of mood swings might stem from ongoing anxiety or unresolved issues with self-worth and low self-esteem.
How to support your moody partner
When your partner is usually of good cheer and their bad moods are an abrupt change, how should you respond?
If they’re going through a particularly rough time but don’t want to talk about it or the reasoning for their bad mood doesn’t make sense to you, offer them your listening ear. Just try not to judge what they say or give them unwanted advice.
Avoid inquiring about what they’re unhappy with because this doesn’t help and may actually make them feel less understood.
It’s important to talk about mood swings in a relationship, so both partners fully understand the impact on one another.
Find a time where your partner is feeling a little better and gently approach the subject. Listen attentively to what they say, and try not be defensive or assume things about why they’re feeling this way.
To get the most out of a moody partner, it’s important to understand why they’re behaving differently.
Try not to take things personally
there are many reasons why a person may be moody, but how they behave towards you is not necessarily how they feel about you.
For example, if your partner is normally carefree but has been irritable with you lately, they are probably not trying to hurt or insult you on purpose.
Though you both may be aware of the different flare-ups, it’s best to try not to take these feelings too personally.
Don’t play into it
Moods are temperamental, and if your partner is in a bad one, try not to react negatively to their behavior. It’s a lot better for their mood to remain consistent and it’s likely that your partner is aware of how they’re behaving.
Try not to make rash, negative comments about your partner in front of others or use sarcasm when talking to them. This can create distance between you that neither one of you wants.
When your partner is in a bad mood, try not to get angry or upset with them. This will only add fuel to the fire and may make you feel frustrated and hopeless.
Instead, remember that the best way to deal with being in a bad mood is usually to be alone for a little while.
When your partner is feeling better, try to make up for lost time and spend some quality time getting to know each other.
Don’t get involved in an argument
It’s hard to believe how easily arguments can start when you’re dealing with someone who has the tendency to be angry or irritable most of the time. There’s no need to escalate matters; keep the discussion casual and non-confrontational by speaking calmly and avoiding phrases like ‘you always’. Instead say things like ‘I’ve noticed that…’ or ‘maybe this could be because …?’
Be honest about your feelings
It’s important not to be a doormat, if something makes you angry and frustrated and it has an effect on your relationship, don’t be afraid to discuss the issue with your partner.
But do so in a non-confrontational way, such as by saying how you’ve been feeling: ‘I noticed lately whenever we go out for dinner together it seems like we are fighting about where we are going to eat. I don’t like that feeling and would rather spend our time together in a positive way.
If your partner starts to apologize, listen without judgment. Pause before responding so you can focus on what is being said.
Think about how they are feeling and what their point of view might be. Be an active listener so that your partner feels like they are being heard.
There is a chance that your moodiness was the reason behind this change in behavior by your significant other, so don’t put all of the blame on them. It’s important to be honest and open about how each partner is feeling. Once you both know what you’re dealing with, it will be easier to find a solution that works for you both.
If you are still finding it difficult to be honest about how you’re feeling, try writing your thoughts down in a journal. Or even just think back on the last time you felt this way, and figure out what made you feel so negative at the time. This will help give insight into the changes in your moodiness and how to deal with it.
Ask questions/don’t make assumptions
Take a minute before you start addressing the issue you have noticed about your partner.
This will allow both of you to think about what was said, and assure that whatever is being offered is heard properly. By taking this extra time, you will also be able to respond in a calm and collected manner.
It is important not to make assumptions about your partner’s moodiness – even if it seems like they are always angry or upset.
Try to avoid statements like ‘It seems like you’re mad all the time.’ Do say things like ‘You don’t seem happy’ or ‘You seem upset about something.’
Once you have been able to assess the level of moodiness your significant other is feeling, it’s human nature to want to know why. However, avoid asking them questions that may bring up negative or hurtful feelings like:
*What’s wrong with you?
*Why are you so cranky all the time?
*When are you going to get over this?
Instead, ask questions that will allow your partner to express themselves without being judged:
*How are you feeling today?
*What made today different from other days?
*What’s bothering you right now?
*Do you feel bad about something in particular that happened recently?
*What’s on your mind?
When asking questions, try to avoid statements that could make your partner defensive.
For example, saying ‘You never want to go out in the evenings anymore’ might make them feel like you’re accusing them of something.
Instead say things like: ‘I miss us going out in the evenings together,’ or even ‘It seems like you’re tired when we go out in the evenings.’
Avoid triggering behaviors and instead, do calming ones
This might sound strange, but there are ways you can avoid pushy behavior that may cause your partner to be more moody than usual.
Instead of snapping at them or getting angry for every little thing they do wrong, try to stay calm and be supportive of them.
This can help you create a more positive relationship atmosphere for both of you, and will make it easier on the both of you if they do have negative moods.
If your partner seems to bring up past issues that may still upset them, even if it happened a while ago, avoid bringing it up.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but the past is over and may not be resolved even if you discuss it again. So try to put an end to any conversations that are bringing up bad feelings by taking control of them and changing the subject or distracting both of you from what’s causing your partner to be moody today.
Give love and support
Everyone needs positive encouragement, even if they seem like they don’t. So instead of ignoring your partner’s moody days or trying to deal with them on your own, offer them the kind of support that will make them feel loved, such as holding hands during a difficult moment.
If you can’t do anything else, just listen
Sometimes when you’re in a mood, all someone needs is someone to listen. So if your partner is trying to talk about something that’s bothering them, don’t interrupt and keep quiet for the moment.
Even if you still disagree with what they are talking about, try to at least show that you are listening and that you care.
It also helps to avoid focusing on how you feel or what their mood is causing them to say. Instead, try to reflect on the things they are saying and let them know that you understand where they are coming from.
Have fun together if it’s possible
– Moodiness isn’t all bad – sometimes it can cause people to have really fun times, even if they can be difficult. If something you do is able to make your partner smile despite their moodiness, that means a lot for both of you. You should take those days as a reason to continue doing what you’re doing and try to keep the good feelings going.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I deal with a partner that is always irritable or angry?
When your dear partner becomes the source of your frustrations every time you see them, it is probably a sign that there is something wrong with the way you approach each other.
Understanding moods is an important part of understanding people; some people will try to escape their problems, while others will tackle them head on.
In any relationship it is vital that both partners understand each other and how they approach problems in life.
f you are tired of being around a partner that seems angry most of the time, then follow these tips for dealing with moody partners:
Be supportive – Sometimes our partners just need a little reassurance that we’re there for them, and this can do wonders to change your significant other’s mood.
Be conscious of your partner – Try not to get into arguments with an angry or frustrated person because more often than not they will try to make you as mad as they are, which is never good for a relationship. Let your partner know that you are there to listen to them, and will support them no matter what.
Give them space – If possible, give your partner some space when they are feeling angry or irritated. A lot of times moody people just need time to deal with their feelings and get over them without anyone else influencing them.
Do not argue in front of the kids – Never, under any circumstances, try to resolve a conflict between you and your partner where the children can see. The children will learn very early on that this is the way a relationship should be, and it is something that can become a bad habit during their adulthood.
Be patient – Some people are just naturally moody, and there is nothing you can do to change them. Try not to take their moods personally though; they probably aren’t doing it on purpose.
Seek professional help – A change in a moody partner could be the sign of some sort of illness such as depression, and if you think your significant other may be suffering from any issues related to their health, make sure to get them checked out by their doctor.
What can I do when my partner has a mood swing and starts to become abusive?
If you find yourself with a partner that is becoming abusive, it is very important that you realize the situation and seek help as soon as possible.
Domestic abuse can be hard to explain to people who have never experienced it before since they might not understand how someone could end up in such a bad place mentally. However, there are many reasons why people tend to get abusive, and there are times when it is completely out of their control.
Domestic abuse is a serious form of violence that affects millions of people around the globe every year. People who have been in an abusive relationship might try to downplay how bad it was because they feel embarrassed or ashamed about what happened, but the truth is that it is never the fault of the victim.
Domestic abuse doesn’t just happen to anyone; there are certain personality types that might be more prone to becoming abusive, and then there are other factors such as stress or depression which can also make a person more likely to become abusive over time. The point is to seek out help immediately if you are getting abused.
My spouse seems to be angry at everyone, is their ever a way to get them to trust again?
If you are dealing with a spouse that seems to be angry at everyone, it might be time to wonder if there is something more troubling them than just general stress or anxiety. These days when so many of us have high-pressured jobs and heavy workloads, everyone suffers from some level of tension and stress. However, oftentimes the signs of a deeper problem show themselves in ways that are difficult to catch.
If you have noticed that your spouse has stopped listening to what you are saying, or is constantly blowing up at other drivers on the road, then chances are they might be suffering from something more than just stress and frustration.
Why do men and women seem to have different mood swings?
There are many myths and stereotypes about men and women, one of the most common being that they have different mood swings. The truth is though; men and women actually experience the same kind of moods, it just depends on how they react to them. Typically male mood swings tend to be more aggressive than female ones.
For example, if a woman gets upset, it is likely that they will be willing to talk about their feelings and work through the situation. On the other hand, a man may become extremely angry and aggressive in an effort to forget all of his problems for a while.
How do people get mood swings?
Mood swings are a natural part of life; they have been present ever since the beginning of time. Moods exist in all relationships, even the best ones.