Movies, television and romance novels have taught a generation that marriage is ‘effortless’. Once two people fall in love, they get married and ‘live happily ever after’. That’s simply not how it works in reality. Even the best marriages require a delicate balance of attention and care.

The truth is that even the happiest couples will encounter ‘rough spots’ in their relationship. Couples in successful marriages know how to get beyond the crisis. They communicate honestly and openly about the problem and the needs of their partner. They use proactive and positive dispute resolution techniques to come to a resolution that leaves both partners satisfied.

Unfortunately, not every couple has the high-level interpersonal skills to work through issues this positively and proactively. That’s why the best decision many couples can make is to turn to a trained and experienced professional. A marriage counselor can help couples develop the same advanced interpersonal communication dispute resolution skills.

There are excellent African American marriage counselors all over the United States.

Here are some of the best in the state of Minnesota:

Moraya Seeger Degeare:

Mrs. Degeare is a marriage and family therapist who views psychotherapy as “a space for you to express yourself and discover the underlying motivators for your behaviors.” Her goal in working with married couples is to help them develop ‘trust, intimacy and respect’.

She treats each client and couple as individuals that are seeking help to repair and rebuild the relationships that matter most in their lives. She calls herself an ‘open and warm’ person who tries to use humor as a way to keep a positive mood during what can be an emotionally draining process.

Her treatment methodology looks to change thought patterns and behaviors that produce problematic situations. Individuals and even couples can ‘rewire’ their conscious thoughts to experience the world and each other in a more positive and life affirming manner.

Ms. Degeare begins the process of repair by facilitating an awareness in her clients of how they reached the crisis state in the first place. She works with clients and couples to try and identify what thoughts, behaviors or emotions contributed to the bad decisions that led to the current crisis.

Once clients identify the ‘what’ and ‘why’ of their situation, Ms. Degeare can help replace negative thought patterns and decision-making processes with positive ones. This treatment methodology provides clients with a strong foundation for repairing their relationships. Ms. Degeare is a graduate of Adler Graduate School and practices in Minnetonka, Minnesota.

Joko Shonibare:

Ms. Shonibare has over fifteen years of experience working with couples, individuals, and families. She has extensive knowledge of how to deal with children and adolescents which can play a part in many marital issues. Ms. Weld has experience treating a number of psychological or emotional conditions that can complicate already difficult relationships. These include substance abuse, low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.

Ms. Shonibare also works with victims of trauma, particularly teenagers and adolescents as well as the immigrant community. She conducts premarital counseling for couples in relationships that are heading toward matrimony. Ms. Shonibare is a graduate of the University of St. Thomas and practices in Mendota Heights, Minnesota.