Your relationship is clicking along, and you think things are going really well. Sure, he’s not perfect, but who is? Does it really matter that he invites his buddies over to your apartment and expects you to feed them?
You’ll have to do that anyway when you are married. Is it really important that he doesn’t seem to listen when you chat about your day or share one of your life secrets? I mean, he is an important man, and is probably just preoccupied with work. Things will be better once you are married, right?Not even close.
These are red flags. Honest, open communication is a formula for a successful relationship. But not all communication happens verbally. Your guy may exhibit some behaviors that communicate through his actions whether or not he is worthy of your love.
The nine items below are essential for a healthy relationship. If once in a while your guy just has a bad day, that’s nothing to be alarmed about. But if your guy consistently makes you wonder about where you stand in his life, then you may want to re-evaluate where the relationship is headed.
For those of you who are blessed with a good man who exhibits these 9 behaviors, then you are on the right track for forming long-lasting bonds.
You never have to wonder if you are safe with him.
Safety means refers to not only your physical safety, but also your mental and emotional well-being. If there are any indicators at all that your safety may not be his top priority, then he is not right for you. Your perfect match will do everything in his power to make you feel safe.
There is no question that he respects and honors you.
Does your guy naturally involve you in decision-making? Does he value and listen to your opinions? Your perfect match will see you as an equal partner and would never treat you with disrespect.
He shows his appreciation…often.
It’s easy to get caught up in every day life and take your partner for granted. But it’s at those points when a good partner will step up. It doesn’t take grand gestures or a lot of money. Just a heartfelt “thank you”, and an offer share a household chore or three.
He shows you that your relationship is worth the effort.
A quick joke with his buddies once in a while about you being “high maintenance” may not be anything to worry about. But he if is constantly obsessing about how much work it takes to be in a relationship with you, then look at your relationship with fresh eyes. Your perfect match will not weigh your relationship in terms of the amount of effort required to maintain it, but in terms of how much richer your relationship has made his life.
He shows you that he supports you in every way.
This isn’t about material support. As a strong, independent woman, you don’t need someone to take care of you. But you do know that he is going to be there no matter what. When you are sick, does he wipe your brow and bring you soup? Or does he high tail it you his buddy’s house to avoid getting infected? Does he cheer you on that half-marathon that’s been on your bucket list (or better yet, run with you), or does he think it would be too boring? How he supports your interests and endeavors can be very telling about how much he values you.
He let’s you cry on his shoulder.
If your guy makes you feel like he would rather be walking on hot nails than comforting you or listening to your cares, then he’s going to find it awfully difficult to maintain that open, honest communication that is the hallmark of a strong relationship. Feelings, and talking about feelings, shouldn’t scare him away.
He embraces personal growth.
Relationships constantly evolve and grow. A man he thinks he already knows everything or doesn’t care to challenge himself in anyway to grow as a person may be part of the recipe for relationship stagnation down the road. Whether it’s a desire to improve physical health, or to learn new skills, or even to just keep up with current events, a man who embraces growth will challenge you to do the same. Growing towards each other will strengthen your relationship.
He can’t imagine a future without you.
Your perfect match will see the two of you, 50-, 60-, 70-years down the road, rocking away in your chairs on the front porch. It’s cliche. Yes. But consider the alternative. If your partner has no trouble envisioning what his life would be like without you, or if he even seems to desire a life without cumbersome relationship ties, then he is likely not in it for the long haul.
There is no doubt that he chooses to love you.
You may have heard this said before, but love is a choice. A decision that both partners make to grow together. Feelings are fickle. And fleeting. Feelings of being “in love” may guide you to the right person, but what helps your relationship last a lifetime is the decision to love your partner with every word spoke and and every action taken. Anything less than that decisiveness leaves the door open for a divide to grow between you. At some point, the chasm may become too difficult to bridge.;
There are obviously many other variables that will lead you down the right path or lead you astray. This list isn’t a checklist for interviewing the Prince Charming in your life. But it’s a good, solid list of the types of characteristics common in men in successful, long-lasting relationships. You deserve nothing but the best, and your perfect match is out there waiting to give it to you.